People Won't Even Buy These Grocery Store Items in a Global Pandemic

Alternative Pizzas

Listen, we know we already basically covered the cruciferous-vegetable pizza crust bases, but some manufacturers think that we'll eat the crust if they put something on it for us. They are (airhorn noise) extremely wrong about that. Alternative pizzas are clogging the freezers at the stores, and if you really want to make some weird decisions with your day, take one home. 

Milk Alternatives

Honestly, milk alternatives are the new wave. We're pretty happy that people are choosing to leave the alternative moo-juice alone. That means there's more for the people who use it religiously.

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The More You Know

  • When two white-faced capuchin monkeys meet, they say hello by sticking their fingers into each other's noses.
  • Shakespeare is easier to understand, makes more sense, and is punnier when it's recited in its original pronunciation instead of a modern English accent.
  • The world's largest falafel weighed 223 pounds.
  • On Mars, sunsets are blue.
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Post originally appeared on Upbeat News.